NOTHING HAPPENS FAST ENOUGH.

I feel like i've had it!

I just can't take it, weightloss is SO BORING.

Don't think i'm stopping though.

Oh no.

I'm carrying on. If it takes me forever,

WELL THEN. Take for bloody ever!

I will get there one day, but until then, I shall moan, moan until the cows come home.

That it just isn't fast enough,

The weighloss isn't quick enough.

What do I need to do about it?

GET OFF MY LARD ARSE AND EXERCISE.

But can I?

No, because I fear what other people think when they see me.

So what am I going to do?

EXERCISE WHEN PEOPLE AREN'T AROUND.

When is that?

STARTING NEXT WEEK :D

When i'm still off college, but everyone else is back at work and uni.

YES!

I can exercise during the day :D

And skip meals easily etc.

Because, I WILL DO THIS.

I HAVE to stay strong.

Saying this,

I failed today...

No I didn't binge. But I didn't do great...

Breakfast; 2 egg whites (28) Cinnamoned apple (100)

No Lunch.

Afternoon snack; Apple sauce, raisins and Cinnamon

OH and I UNDER estimated the calories in raisins.

So THAT SNACK. Which was meant to be UNDER 100. Was more like, 160cals.

Later on again; Spinach (actually was gross. not gonna lie. only having it with things from now on) (5)

Dinner; 3 (fucking 3??) Quorn sausages (171) brocolli, green beans, pepper, chilli, spinach (120, had to use oil to fry)

And I drank shit loads of cranberry juice because i'm dehydrated, (had no decent liquids in the house for days and I HATE water)

So i'm HUGE. Fucking HUGE.

And I feel really ill, it may be all the spinach and drink :( but I don't know, and i'm so frustrated, and can't wait for tomorrow, as I will be walking LOADS. I will be busybusybusy :D

So todays total (time to use the laptops calculator ;))

579.

Five Huundred....And Seventy Nine.

Well I might as well make it six hundred. As mum has done strawberries for pudding, and wants me to have them.

Pah.

Whatever.

Shit....she added meringue.

Wait, egg white and sugar?? Thats low cal isn't it?? One of those meringue nests is 52cals... so these tiny little meringue peaks... well three must be about 50cals??

Thank goodness....

I'm gonna make myself feel good. And round todays total to 600cals.

And leave it at that.

If I say OR think more.

I'm liable to binge :(

As I will give up, and tell myself, well i've failed already soo....

NO. It's better to lie to myself and save myself from a binge. Right?

Good, now i'm shoving it to the back of my mind that i'm lying.

Done.

Stay strong.

Stronger then me.

xox