Numb.

Had lunch - ish.
Was 2pm,
Count as lunch?
I don't know.
Was really hungry.
I don't eat lunch normally.

Had,
2 Quorn sausages (118)

That's it,
Finally, Protein in my body.
Yay.


So,
Emma came over.
Wanted a hug,
And a chat.

Found out,
Alot.

She won't have surgery,
The results are temporary.
Not sure if she'll take the medicine.
She forgets.
And feels worse after.
She's got,
What...
I don't know,
A few months?

To live.

Then,
Well,
I don't want to think about it.
Really don't.

We're living in the now.

But I feel,
Numb.

And I want,
The guy,
Who I'm going to call JB,
Because i'm fed up,
Fed up of calling him,
That guy i'm seeing.

I want a hug,
From JB.
That won't ever end.
In a few months,
If a few months is really all she has.
I'm going to need his hug,
More then ever.

I've no more to say.
I'm Numb.
No appetite.
Yay.
Can't even be happy about that.

Any chance of me truly sorting out life,
And leaving depression behind,
Will be out the window,
In...
A few months time.

So I shall relish,
Relish in my happiness.
And weightloss.
Those lbs going down.
They make me happy.
Emma,
She makes me smile.
JB,
He makes me feel safe.

I'm surrounded by the best.

I shall not cry.
That's weakness.
Emma needs strength.
I'm numb.
But shall be happy.

Stay strong
xox